It is often with awe that I observe the teenagers in my life. They stand in the middle, a time in-between, that vibrates with movement and change. In looking at the rare photograph I was allowed to take of a friend’s 14 year old daughter just six months ago I am astonished to see how greatly she has transformed. Subtle and overt growth as her life, body, and brain expand. I want to photograph her all the time in attempt at illuminating the distinct beauty of her 14th year.
Her mother shares the struggles with me. How angry and distant she can be. How her eating has changed. How to set boundaries yet allow her to explore and experience life independently? It is a passionate mother daughter dance in these adolescent years. I encourage steadiness and a gentle hand in guiding her daughter. I offer what I have come to understand about the incredible brain development of the years 12 through 24.
The wisdom gleaned from Dr. Daniel Siegel’s book Brainstorm has stayed with me. Adolescence is not a phase to be simply survived but embraced. He expands on the prevailing myths that only further isolate teens with labels of immaturity or a belief that they are seeking to be fully independent. The task of adolescence is to connect with others, a social group, as well as a range of guiding, attuned adults. The enterprise of this wide range of adolescent years is to explore and innovate while also deepening self-awareness. In Brainstorm, Siegel offers accessible and concrete tools for parents and teenagers to learn about the changes that are happening in the teenage brain and thereby enhance compassionate understanding and communication. He encourages activities that promote integration of the right and left sides of the brain such as journaling, naming emotions, and mindfulness.
Adolescence is vibrant with the sparks of questioning and seeking. As adults we too thrive when we embrace such qualities within ourselves. Daniel Siegel reminds us to look to our teenagers for inspiration of boldness and innovation.
Visit this website for more information on Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
http://www.drdansiegel.com/